After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize