Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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