do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
