yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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