How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
