i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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