Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
