that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
