Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
