I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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