i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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