I need help removing her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
