ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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