Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
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OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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