The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
