Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
