I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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