he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
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Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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