yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
