Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
