you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
