i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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