just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice