You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol