we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's the barista slut.
It's never too late to be topless.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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