Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
