if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just want to make out with him forever
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
