i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
