Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
