i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
