maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
