grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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