i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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