Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
