OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
