I just made out with a guy for $7.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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