the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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