Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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