Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
