He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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