Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
