Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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