I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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