Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm like, not good at living.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
