is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
