Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
