You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
