My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The power of my boobs compel you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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