Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
