oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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