Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
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just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well