well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.