Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with

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(785): View more from Kansas

Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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(352): View more from Florida

You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing

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(613): View more from Ontario

you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

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