Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(206): View more from Washington

He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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(347): View more from New York

He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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(253): View more from Washington

She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"

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(914): View more from New York

He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?

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(310): View more from California

I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

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(727): View more from Florida

Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?

(813): View more from Florida

Heaven. . It would look like heaven

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.

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