the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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