I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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