please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
