I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
