i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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