are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
