dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
