Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
