what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
