Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
send nudes
from the living room?
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