did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
