I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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