accomplished twins. life is a go
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
