Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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